This week's guest blog is written by Jacky Lewis of Training Matters. As a working Mum myself with two kids, two and five years old (plus one on the way!), I asked Jacky to write some top tips on one of her areas of expertise, helping women who are returning to work after a career break or maternity leave.
Enjoy! You can read more about Jacky below, and connect with her on LinkedIn by viewing her profile here.
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You've had a baby six months ago; you have a toddler or even two; you want to get back into the fray of work but feel your confidence is at low ebb. The agreement with your husband/partner was that you’d go back after 6 months, after all it takes two of you to pay the mortgage. Then you ask yourself what you have to offer to the world of work, what would you talk about? Your brain is fried with gigglebiz and teletubbies… Well, think again- you can do it!
All it takes is a bit of forward planning and a stronger level of self-belief. But make sure you have your contingency planning in place; life is full of pitfalls for new mum-returners, things can be uncertain. However, if you are the woman who promised herself that she would not vegetate at home, that she would further her career as she brought up her family, here’s 10 top tips from an experienced career woman and mum (with grown-up children), to ease you back into work:
Top 10 Tips
- Plan your return, involve your husband/partner/best friend/mum, talk to your employer, are you agreed on timescales? Days? Hours? Clarify, clarify.
- If you’re breastfeeding plan your weaning carefully; get advice from your health visitor or other trusted mums. You don’t want to traumatise yourself or the baby by sudden feeding withdrawal. Keep on an early morning and night time feed for quick baby-soothing in the middle of the night.
- Agree an achievable (and friendly) rota with your partner for getting up to a crying baby in the night and stick to it. Avoid the ‘it’s easier to do it myself’, mentality.
- Don’t wear your best work suit around a sticky baby for that last kiss in the morning; get real…. and think about the mum-returner whose 10 month baby was learning to walk and made a hole in her tights as he pulled himself up to stand, just as she was running out of the door for an important early-morning meeting.
- If you are vacillating about going back to work, write a pro’s and con’s list. Make sure you really want to do it- depression and longing for your baby are toxic things. Do you need to leave it a little longer?
- Is your employer mummy-friendly? Can you ease in slowly? Or does your organisation like new mums to go back 24/7? Your salary will positively reflect a 5 day, long-hours working schedule but is this you want? If it is that’s fine, if not then get real with yourself.
- Can you do any of your work from home? Have you checked this out with your employer? Give them a list of the financial advantages to them of you working some days from home; make sure they see the ‘£’ signs. If you want it badly then make it happen.
- How robust is your fall-back child-care plan? Will you be using a child-minder? How many children do they care for? What happens if someone gets chickenpox at nursery? Who will look after your toddler if they are off-colour? How quickly can you access support in the morning? Do you rely on a nanny; what happens if she gets the ‘flu’?
- How will you look after yourself? Can you fit in some ‘me’ time? This is important if you’re not to burn out. The mum who boomerangs between child minder, home and the office will have little creative thinking to offer her job. Make sure you get a little time to have your haircut or even allow yourself a quick ‘child-free’ coffee on the way home. Look after your own batteries; care for yourself.
- Choose a role-model and analyse her; how does she do it? Notice how she dresses; how she impresses others at work; how she manages her family; demonstrates her level of confidence. What could you take from her example? Think about the personal changes you could make to your own style of thinking and level of assurance. Perhaps you could do with some self-challenge; is your thinking ‘self-limiting’?
About Jacky Lewis: Jacky is a busy corporate trainer, coach and mediator working at all levels of the organisation; she has a special interest in mentoring & developing female members of the team. She has worked to support and develop staff in many situations & is often brought in during the disciplinary & grievance process. She also works to resolve conflict & build bridges in a range of situations and is used by lawyers as an expert mediator in best interests, Court of Protection matters. She first trained as an existential psychotherapist and supervisor and has a special interest in ‘difficult’ workplace situations. She recently contributed a chapter on Workplace Coaching to the book, ‘Existential Perspectives on Coaching’, published by Palgrave MacMillan in May 2012.
